Not Just Hammer, But the Other Tools from the Toolshed Too!

Okay, so it is more that just hammers that wish to stalk me. I am being followed by other tools too. Just last night on my way home from choir a ladder jumped off the truck two cars ahead of me and into the road. I definately did not imagine this one. The poor car in front of me plowed right into the ladder. It was the strange noise of tires clanking over ladder that clued me in, allowing me a chance to swerve out of the way just in time.

Of course this got me thinking. Yes, I do tend to let my mind drift from time to time about things that amust me. This time I started thinking about all the interesting things that I have spotted on the side of the road. There have been couches, and chairs, and tables... Let's just say there is a furniture category. There is definately a tool category--not only the recent spottings of hammers and a ladder, but I have seen various screwdrivers, shovels, and even a power drill once. The gross category has to be included in the list--dead animals. The most interesting (or most gross, however you want to look at it) would be the deer that was off the road just enough that you could observe the process of the buzzards picking that thing clean in a matter of 2 or 3 days. The category that always gets me worried--the live animals wondering by the side of the road. I have had to resist the urge to take more than one or two stray dogs home. Then there is the plant category--you may be shocked to hear this, but I absolutely love the wildflowers that grow on the side of the road. This would be the absolute best roadside decoration. Somewhat disappointing is the fact that I have not seen the red poppies on the by-pass this year. Where are they?

Athletic? Nah!

But I am definately becoming one of those people. I actually went online this week looking for a race that I could do. Something that could motivate me to keep up with the jogging, keep improving my time, and most importantly, to keep me in shape. I don't like the training part. I am not one of those crazy people who likes to jog all the time. I don't miss it when I skip it. But I do like the races. Does that make me an exhibitionist (only liking to do it when others are watching)? Hmmmm. I guess I will have to think about that one. So I am glancing through some possibilities for races and realized that I still haven't done a 5K. The shortest that I have done is a 10K. I started big--my first being a 1/2 marathon. Does that mean I was looking for a 5K--no, I ended up signing up for a 15K. And how is this for motivation--I have to complete the 9.3 in less than two hours--that's at least 5 miles per hour, meaning, no walking for me. This is a big step for me. I will really be pushing myself to train for this one. Now for the part that really cracks me up. Without making any confessions, they have a category to enter that is up my alley. The Athena Category--it ain't for the skinny chicks with 0% body fat that is for sure...

Payroll, That's What Killed Me

If I turn up mysteriously dead in the next 24 to 48 hours, please know that it is payroll that did it. Have it arrested, thrown in jail, but be warned it is a tricky, tricky, sneaky little booger. When you think you have it figured out, when you are convinced that you have all the bugs worked out of the system, when you know in your heart of hearts that certain procedures performed in specific order give the desired result... it will throw you for a loop. This week it decided that the categories on the checks instead of reading "regular, overtime, doubletime, and vacation" decided instead that "NOT ON FILE" for each of those would be more appropriate. Yes the number of hours are correct. The amounts in those categories are impecable. We just don't know the name of the category. It is a small miracle that the hours did go into the correct amount for taxes and I was able to pull up the correct report quickly to reassure my boss that they were correct. He was toying with the idea of voiding all the checks and reissuing them (NO, NO, NO, pleeeeaaaassssse, NO). Whew!!!! That crisis is averted, but now I have to figure out how to solve this problem before Monday when checks are run again. This is not even talking about the fact that we now have new payroll checks that have come in and that the columns and categories is have to be re-set again to fit these checks. Quitting is not an option as I kinda need this job. What do you think is the likelihood that the other employees will work for free? I will have to send a memo down to the shop, but I am sure that they will be happy to accomodate, right???? Maybe not.

My Love for a Munchkin Named Lily

She is the most precocious and precious 2 year old you would ever meet. She is my niece Lily. She is beautiful. She is becoming her own person with her own unique personality. We had a conversation today. She told everyone that "Mom and Jill are running in the Bolder Boulder." Although it wasn't said with that much clarity or concise speech. It was more of a "mom and jiw run in bower bower." But when she realized that it would make us laugh, she was so proud of herself and then would repeat it at random intervals through out the day. She really does have a good sense of comedic timing (It doesn't hurt that Aunt Jill loves to laugh). Then, just ask her about camping. Do you like camping Lily? Uh huh. By the way we had to leave the camp site at 6AM because she did not sleep well at all that night and would not stop crying, but even through the tears she does like camping. (Of course, she actually had a great time up until the time that the temperature dropped to about 30 degrees--for that matter, my enthusiam for the camping excursion was dropping by that point as well.) But tonight we did a little bit of indoor camping. She has this cute, cute, cute butterfly tent (strictly for indoor use). She would crawl in then tell poke her head out at me and say "let's go, jiw" (did I tell you that this all started when she woke up from her nap and said "I want jiw"--I so love this kid). So we would get in the tent--she would then take off her "pack pack" (backpack) where barbie was stashed, next would come the order to zip up (meaning the tent flap), inevitably she would open the pack pack and say "hello barbie" and then request a zip up of the pack pack. The next was one of two options-- woooaaa or shake it. Woooaaa consisted of her sitting on one side of the tent, me on the other leaning back and forth saying (can you guess... wait for it...) "wooooaaaa." Upstairs Craig and Rhonda weren't sure if she was crying until she would bust out into a crazy loud super fantastic giggle (she has one dimple, too cute). Shake it consistend of her standing in the middle of the tent (please keep in mind that the tent is maybe 4'x4'--great for a 2 year old but not so roomy for a grown up) and we would shake the side of the tent also ending inthat crazy loud super fantastic giggle of hers. The the normal routine would be a request for help in putting the pack pack back on, then she would crawl out of the tent poke her head back in and say "let's go", I would crawl out follow her around the pool table and repeat the entire process from the beginning. This only stopped because dinner was ready and resumed immediately afterwards.

The plan tomorrow... I get her all day to myself. Craig and Rhonda both have to work. We will truck on down to the park for some fabulous playtime. I don't think I have expressed it enough, this kiddo has my heart. She is the best super-kid in the world and she is only two (it can only get better because I hear the twos are terrible).

New Phone

I ordered myself a new phone this week. I guess that I am very important and everyone wants to talk to me, because my phone has been ringing off the hook (do cell phones have a hook?, do phones in general have a hook anymore?) So for the 2nd month in a row, I have exceeded my minutes--and I was oh so careful this last month (using my home phone whenever possible, waiting until 9:00 to make other calls). The problem: 1. Well, I should probably stop calling people so much. 2. Client's have been picking up--I use my current number for them to call and call them from this cell phone (leaving me a voice message at a place I go for maybe 15 minutes once a week just doesn't work). 3. It seems that no one I know, except maybe mom, dad, and my aunt have AT&T anymore (I am talking mainly about my friend CG--you have abandoned me to join with your husband's cell network, what's up with that? *she said with a sarcastic smirk*). So I deliberated, and I deliberated, and then I did some research (of course) and then I thought about it some more. Strangely enough, it works out as cheaper to get a second cell phone with a different company than to add more minutes and another line to my current plan (actually it would be about the same price--but that still wouldn't help with the CG issue as she also has to really watch her minutes too). Again I ask, what's up with that? Of course, AT&T doesn't really care what I do because they have me locked into a 2 year contract. I am free to roam about the country and other cell phone companies as long as I keep my current cell phone with them.

I Noticed It One Day Too Late

Strange blog post here, but yesterday I noticed that the anniversary of my divorce had passed by and it hadn't even registered with me. It was only when I went to work on monday and noticed the date on the calendar that I started thinking, "hmm, wasn't it this time last year..." This year the day couldn't be any different. Last year was a dark day (not literally as the sun was shining bright). Not only did my divorce go through, but I was stuck in a training--Grief after Trauma. In this training (as if talking about grief and trauma for 2 days isn't bad enough by itself) they showed a video about a church shooting that happened in Fort Worth, Texas in September 1999. Yes, for those who know me and are doing the math, I was in Fort Worth at the time of the Wedgewood Baptist Church shooting. A man walked into a See You At the Pole Rally and shot into a group of teenagers, killing seven before killing himself. (Thank God he was horrible at making pipe bombs or this would have been even worse). This was during my first semester of practicum and I led one of the many debriefing groups later in the week--my first ever therapy session (trial by fire). There were seminarians there that were also wounded or killed. This was my divorce day last year. The end of a marriage and a reminder of a very real tragedy. I remember last year driving from the training center to home trying so hard to keep it together, not succeeding at all. So I changed course slightly drove straight to my parent house and just cried while my parents held me. I am so thankful for my family. I am so glad that I came back home to live before all of this happened.

So... This year. Again, totally different from last year. I went to church (always a place of healing for me), I sat next to my friend--flower goddess, enjoying an occassional laugh (or two or three--do we ever stop laughing), playing handbells (enjoying the last of the season--ready for summer break), watching graduating seniors be recognized (some that I have worked with for the past three years). After church I had lunch with another friend and then met yet another dear one at the park for a little bit. It was almost as if God was saying, "When you remember what the day is, I want you to know that you were well provided for, that there were friends to be there for you, but I will protect you from actually needing their shoulder." What a difference a year makes. When I did finally sit down and remembered what Sunday was, I did shed a few tears (it was inevitable). Not many tears though, healing is such a beautiful thing, sometimes it seems so stinking slow in coming, stuck somewhere along the way. And sometimes, it can take you by surprise, not even realizing how far you have come. What a great day.

Kids and their Wishes

I didn't experience this story first hand, but it was really cute and I have permission to blog it. My friend Amy took her son to Disney World last week. They had a great time and Spencer a.k.a. Spider Man was a trooper. He was not one of the screaming/crying kids. He wasn't too tired or too hot. He was not demanding or irritating, but truly a superhero.

So, the cute part. They went on the "It's a Small World" ride. Toward the end there is a place to throw a penny and make a wish. First cute thing, he had to think and then ask about this whole wishing thing. Amy explained to him that a wish is something that a person really, really wants to have happen and the penny sometimes helps that come true. So Spencer closed his eyes up tight and thought really hard and then threw in his penny. Amy didn't ask and Spencer didn't tell. Well, that is where the second cute thing happens... As I understand it, a couple of hours later, Spencer looks up at Amy with a serious expression on his face and asks, "When am I going to turn into Spider Man?"

So make a wish, you just might get to be a superhero.

I Don't Think It Could be any More Unlucky

That would be my day. Not a horrible day, but things have been happening to me today that are just plain annoying. I do have a blog though, this means I get to vent here...

Started off this morning with the light bulb in my bathroom going out. No problem I get a new bulb and drag the piano bench into the bathroom, remove the glass globe, go to unscrew the light bulb. That is when the unlucky part started, the light bulb shatters. That is right, I am looking at the light bulb directly above my head while still barefooted and in pajamas and it shatters. The amazing part--none of the glass got in my eyes, I wasn't cut at all. The dilemna--I am in my barefeet and surrounded by broken glass. I manage to gingerly walk to the closet avoiding all glass and get some shoes on and sweep up the glass. I still have the task ahead of me of getting the rest of the bulb out of the fixture (maybe I should wait until my luck turns).

Next stop on my way to work was to grab a breakfast burrito from Sonic. I do believe that they pour grease to the burrito because 5 bites into it, I have grease dripping from my hand onto the front of my dress. (Ladies you can sympathize I am sure). But I have had a great big grease spot on my right boob all day long. Need I remind you I work with ALL men and one woman (and she happens to be on vacation this week). So I go into the bathroom first thing and I try to wash this spot out. IT DIDN'T WORK, it just gave me a wet boob for the first 30 minutes of work. So I spent most of my day trying to cover up my boob, without being obvious about trying to cover up my boob. Everyone was a gentleman and I could tell that they were trying not to look, but oh my goodness.

Next is the simple fact that it was a crazy busy day. There were shipping orders to process (and Oh, by the way the truck is waiting in the parking lot). There were labels to print (of course I can't do anything else while printing labels as I have to sit with my hand in the print and manually feed each and every one). There were requisistions to get approved and sent off (would it be too much to ask that the entries in the roladex reflect the companies current name and not who owned them 15 years ago). Lots to do, but there is a steady flow and a rhythm that I am getting into with this. As I am feeling good about getting so much accomplished and I am patting myself on the back for keeping caught up... a problem was discovered in payroll. The checks had mis-fed 1/2 through and was off by a line (only one l line!!!!). This wouldn't have been that big of a deal except that it was the heading of the next check on the bottom of the previous check--this means that someone else's name, SS#, and pay-rate on the bottom of the previous check. This was discovered a 1:45. They pick up their checks at 2:30. I had to void out the checks and re-issue them.

There is more. Oh, there is more, but right now I am looking forward to a long walk and maybe some icecream later. Whew. What a Day!

Now I Worry I am Insane, or Being Stalked--the Hammer Reappears

I saw another hammer today. Was it the same one? I have no idea. The problem with seeing the hammer, it was in a completely different place on my commute. Yesterday's hammer was on I-65, today's hammer was at the beginning of the by-pass in Gallatin. I nearly ran right over it. So either I am hallucinating, or this hammer is following me, or I am the victim of a very strange coincidence...

(side note--I know that I am not hallucinating today as other cars also served to miss the thing so that leaved stalking or coincidence)

Another Strange Sighting on my Commute to Work

This will be a very short post, but I nearly ran over a brand new hammer today on I-65. I could tell it was brand new because it still had the wrapper/tag around the handle. So my question is, how did a new hammer get onto the interstate? I can see someone putting it on top of the roof of their car and driving off, but this was the place where Vietnam Veterans By-Pass merges onto 65. Does that mean that the hammer stayed on the car at least since the last exit back, which would mean that it traveled successfully on the roof all the way through Rivergate (my speculation is from Home Depot or Walmart)? Or, did someone just decide to throw a brand new hammer out the window on a whim? And if that is the case, was it because of road rage or because of buyers remorse, deciding "no, I don't think I will hang that picture after all today, so I don't need this"?

Yes, this is my normal train of thought when I am driving by myself and not carpooling to work. A little strange, a lot random, and totally fun.

Lessons Learned from the 1/2

So this is a post about things that they don't tell you in the handy-dandy literature before running a 1/2 marathon (13.1 miles for those that don't know).

1. Bring your own toilet paper (and possibly germ-x). I did luck out as the person beside me in line did think to bring a roll and was generous enough to share. But that many people, the two rolls originally in the porta-pottys were long since gone. The one porta-potty I stopped at along the way was not much better. Enough said on this one.

2. Sunscreen doesn't last. I used sunscreen, I promise--the waterproof, sweatproof kind. But I also applied it before I checked my gear, which was then bused to the finish line, to be seen several hours later. Of course at the beginning of the race it was raining and cloud covered. It was toward the end of the race that the sun came out--you know the time when the sunscreen was gone. I'm still not sure that I would have carried the stuff around with me though or taken the time to put it on.

3. Rain, Rain, Go away. When it is raining, runners will do strange things. I saw one man with a garbage bag over him--I couldn't tell if he was wearing any clothes as he was wearing short-shorts. And he had those hotel laundry bags over his shoes. I was happy to have brought along my poncho, which I ditched at the starting line a long with many other poncho's, trash bags and interesting toss-asides.

4. Marathons are trashy. My goodness there were so many things just thrown on the ground. Powerbar gel packets, Power beans wrappers. Don't even get me started on the cups thrown down at the water stations. This trashiness is of course including the disgarded trash bags and ponchos (see point #3).

5. Powerbar gel is disgusting. Just what I thought it would be. Thick goo. The flavor I happened to pick up--double latte. The flavor was as it said, it tasted like a latte. I don't drink coffee when I am running. And the goo texture. My goodness, it is reminescent of the stuff I would periodically clear out of my drain. If I didn't need that shot of energy or have water immediately afterward to wash it down, I don't think the goo would have been stomached.

6. Water stations are hazardous (esp. when further back with the walkers). I would be trucking along nicely and all of a sudden a walker would step in front of me and come to a near stop. I didn't, but I was so tempted to pour Accelerade down more than one person's back. Then going back to point #3 again all the cups that were thrown aside by earlier runners were slick. One had to tread carefully. I learned early on that the water stations were a good time to slow to a walk. This gave me a chance to rest (relatively speaking), dodge the slower walkers, I was able to navigate the slicker terraine and I was able to drink my Accelerade without choking myself on it.

7. There is nothing like see that finish line for motivation. I was exausted. I was tired, I had jogged a race that I had trained myself to walk. But I rounded the corner and I saw that yellow banner and I ran. I heard my Mom and Dad cheering me on. Racers that had finished already were cheering me on and I ran. I went from thinking I had no energy left to feeling like I should have done the whole thing. (And no, I am no longer crazy enough to think that the whole marathon is for me).

8. And if seeing the finish line is motivation, crossing the finish line is even better. I had been meditating on my favorite passage from Hebrews the entire race. "Since we are surrounded by such a great a cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles and run the race with perserverence, fixing our eye on Jesus the author and perfector of our faith ..." I had thrown off my poncho, I had been freed from things that weighed me down and I ran the race. The real life lessons hit home as I crossed the finish line, having run the race alone, but with family and friends there cheering me on, keeping me going. I wept. I cried at the beauty that was the race, it was a cathartic moment. I released emotions that were dormant at the fact that I was free to pursue this goal and this dream without someone that had discouraged me from doing it last year. This was what I had trained for and it was worth it.

Happy Administrative Assitance's Day to Me

Today, apparently, is Administrative Assitance's Day, or so I've been told. Oh, I believe my office manager when she tells me that, I am just getting some kicks and giggles about the tradition they have here at my work for celebrating it. They treated me to lunch at Logan's. Yummy, Yummy Filet. Tasty, Tasty Sweet Potato. Fluffy rolls. What more could a girl wish for...

Here's the rub, they didn't take me to lunch (or bettter yet a gift card), they gave me their take out orders for lunch and added me to the bill. I got the happy priviledge (on the Office Manager's orders) of walking into the bosses' office and saying "Today is Secretary's Day, what would you like from Logan's?" I am not big on celebrating these strange, made up holidays, but if they are going to celebrate it, should I be the one walking into their office to remind them of it. The Logan's lunch is actually something that they have done for the past 10 years or so. They didn't question me coming in and saying this, they just put their order in. One, only one, actually said, "Oh yeah, happy secretary's day." When I laughed, he said "no seriously, I do appreciate all you do." So after I got all the orders together--6 including mine, I call in the order, then I go pick up the order, then I give out all the food, THEN I eat my steak.

I really like Logan's (even through I rarely get steak). As I said, not really an important holiday to me, and I wouldn't have even known it was AA Day if not for the Office Manager. So, why does it bother me that I had to get the food? This is not an abnormal errand for me. I get lunch nearly everyday for these managers. I guess, if it is the thought that counts, did they really have a thought to count? Oh well, Happy AA day to you!!!

Plumber??

Just a really quick blog to share a funny story. I was taking my boss to pick up his car after he got it serviced when we come up to a stop sign. Directly across the street was a sign that said, "Elect Howdie Doodie as your new plumber." I am sitting in my car, with my boss (Mr. Not-So-Funny), trying not to laugh out loud as I think to myself, if I have to say Howdie to my Doodie, you better believe I am getting a new plumber.

Level 8

That's right, I am now officially an 8. I have reached level 8 pioneer status on the Oregon Trail. This is not some super great feat as there are many levels higher than 8, but I have been a 7 for so long that it really feels great to make it to the next step up. This is a proud moment in my life. (Hee Hee Hee). For the last two treks up the trail that I have made, no one has died, I did not run out of money (and didn't even have to steal something), it was smooth sailing, almost boring.

Let me ask you this... I figured out a trick. Completely by accident. But here it is the trick, if I get a broken wheel, I don't necessarily have to pay to repair it. There is a glitch in the system. If I go to check my inbox or my homepage or any other facebook option, then come back to Oregon Trail, it has forgotten that my wagon wheel was broken in the first place and I can just keep on trucking. I discovered this simply by accident because one day I had something like $135 in my account, I was so close to Oregon City, I had just recently been killed in my last theivery attempt, so my thinking was "I will just wait until tomorrow, this way I will earn more money for that day, repair my wheel and just keep trucking." When I went back the next day, the wagon wheel was fine, no repairs were needed. I made it to Oregon City and had no other mishaps. So I had to see, is it waiting a day? Or is it just going and coming back? Yeah, it is just going and coming back. That is all it takes, there doesn't even have to be a significant pause in between the going and coming back. So this is the question (yes, I did say "let me ask you this")... Is it cheating to take advantage of a glitch in the system? I have gone and come back for experimental purposes, but now that is over, should I be scrupulously honest and pay for all future repairs, or take advantage until the loop hole is closed? A moral dilemna for you to chew on today...

Mary (and other various commuters that I have made up names for)

There are certain recogonizable cars on my commute into work. I don't get to see them everyday, but I am always thrilled when I do. Today's commute was happiness itself because I saw Mary. Now, grant it, I have no idea if her name is Mary, this is just the name that I have given her. She has 10 bazillion (slight exaggeration) little stuffed lambs in her back window. This actually has more to do with Psalm 23 (it only takes one glance at her license tag frame to know that) than with Mary had a Little Lamb. But really, is that supposed to matter to me? Its like winning the commute-to-work-lottery to get to see Mary. There are a few other cars that are recognizable and that I will keep an eye out for, but no one brings a smile to my face like Mary. There is the Life is Good car--it has just as much "Life is Good" stickers on it as my car does. When I pass him I am thinking to myself "indeed, life is good." There is Soccor mom, but she must be seen before the turn off to Pope John Paul High School. I could go on....

Spring is Finally Here

I know technically it has been here for a while, first day of spring and all that already has happened. But it hasn't counted until now. Not for me at least. Now I can say it is spring because several things happened together. Yes, the spring rains have been here. Yes, things are starting to bud out of trees. I have seen the buttercups and tulips. But it really has been a tease. It was a fake out. The real thing was yet to come. But here is the kicker. Here is why it is officially spring... Not only did I get to wear sandals yesterday, but I slept with my window open. (for those worried about my safety in announcing on the internet that I sleep with my windows open--I would just love to see someone crawl through the ten feet of bushes, give or take a few millimeters, and see how well Miriam, you know, the grouchy dog, greets them). I woke up this morning to birds singing outside my window. What a glorious way to wake up in the morning. My house is full of fresh air. The rain doesn't even phase me today. I am in a happy spring mood. The world has turned green again.

Confessions of a Staple Freak

Today I have made a deep self discovery. I love staples. It is a fabulous invention to hold papers together. Now, I take this love to a deep and disturbing level when I say that I am obsessed with staples. This is not the store, this is the small little metal thingys that you would put into a stapler and bind together papers. I seem to be in constant search for the perfect stable. This may tell you all about my exciting life, but I probably spent at least 3 minutes to get a stable to go through this gigantic stack of papers for this particular invoice. Finally I got it to go through with out bending and crumpeling the staple on top of the paper. What does it tell you about me, I was still bothered, the staple was in backwards. From back to front. This only spurred my on to further staple perfection, wanting to get the staple perfectly through this stack of papers from front to back. Yes, I know, a little crazy, more than slightly obsessive. But that is just it, I am a staple freak. Here is where it goes even further--I spent all that time on a staple that I will remove when the invoice is paid and filed (probably within the week).

That is another stable obsession of mine. I am a purest. Only one staple in a bundle of papers. This whole idea of adding one page and stabling it to the bundle while leaving the other stable in, why would you do such a thing? It just makes it gunky. Again, I know, a little crazy, more than slightly obsessive. The only better invention as far as I am concerned at the present moment than staples/stapler, would be the stable remover. You know, it looks like a snake and it bites the staples from the page. Great stuff. And just a little bit more FYI--there always seems to be bent up mangled staples that have been removed around or under my desk. But the filing cabinet--not full of useless over stapled papers, that I can guarantee.

I Waged War with Fur

My big plan this last weekend was to work in the yard. I love playing in the dirt. This time of year is always fascinates me, the buds on the trees, my roses starting to show growth. Even my peony bush is starting to sprout. The problem was Saturday was not good "get out in the yard" weather. By the time I realized it, I was already in my work clothes. So, what do I do???, I tackle the attic. Yes, that's right the place that I go only twice a year, maybe. Old text books, Christmas decorations, and camping supplies were not so neatly arranged. Now, they are beautifully arranged. Not to mention, nicely boxed up and ready for pick up are some of the ex's old books. (maybe I can get my dad to help me bring them down, so that ex doesn't have to come into the house.

Well, when I was finished in the attic, I still had energy left, so I takled the front bedroom. I had a lot of stuff just dumped in here when I closed my private practice. You can now walk in. Then it just turned into a major spring cleaning project... I am happy to report that underneath my bed (as of Saturday) was completely de-furred, and under the treadmill, and under the chest of drawers, and under the piano, you get the idea. I think that there is a fur magnet under these things. I have never seen so much fur in my life that wasn't attached to my dog. As a matter of fact I don't know that I have even seen that much fur attached to my dog. This is a disaster. I have always considered myself a bit of a neat freak and the fur was taking over.

Oh, the Lies they Tell

Sales people crack me up. I have to say. I work for a small company and there are a lot of calls for the President/Owner of the company. This President is a Junior, so he does not go by his first name. But so often I get calls for Orville. I know that these are cold calls, because he would have told them the appropriate name to call him if they have ever dealt with him before. Policy is to put them on hold (and leave them there) or wait 1/2 minute, tell them he is unavailable and then offer to take a message (not that they have ever left a message). These sales people are slick though. I have had people tell me that they are just returning Orville's call. I have had people pretend that they are trying to bring us customers (but would refuse to talk to the guy that actually deals with and gives quotes to customers). And just today I answer the phone and chicky goes. "Oh, I am soooooooo sorry, I meant to call Orville at his home number. Well, since I called, is he available." AS IF PRETENDING YOU HAVE HIS HOME NUMBER WILL WORK. Trust me, if she knew his home number she would know his name. Seriously, does this work with some people?

Shushed

I was shushed last night in choir. Grant it, I was laughing--a lot, and I was laughing loudly, but shushed? Really, are we really still in elementary school/middle school mode? Okay so I am not a rule follower when it comes to choir. I like to talk and socialize, sometimes it being the only time during the week that I can see certain people.

The reason I was laughing. 1. We are singing a song where the melody is straight from Jurassic Park (or did Jurassic Park steal the melody from this anthem--chicken or egg?). Seriously, the men are singing and flower goddess asks me what is this from, its a movie. So we are sitting there happily humming and trying to figure it out (even now, I have started humming the theme merrily to myself--please no co-workers walk in). Jurassic Park. I have to watch those movies again. They have action, adventure, pretty scenery, dinosaurs, sci-fi, all good stuff (this is one instance where I actually like the movie better than the books). Okay back to why we were laughing. 2. Hymns. Not normally funny, but we always run hymn at the beginning of rehearsal. Not a big fan of this. And they just drag on forever (so it seems). FG (flower goddess) drew a lovely picture of herself during this time, stabbing herself in the boob (well, just stabbing herself, but it looked like it was aimed for the boob--that was the funny part). 3. From Brahams Requim--"How Lovely is thy Dwelling Place". I thought how fun it would be to change out "Lovely" with "Super". 4. ... Oh, there are so many things that we found funny that I would just have to say the dreaded phrase "you would just have to be there." So, I'm not going to tell you.

So, lets just say, I was laughing all throughout choir practice. Since, I love to laugh and would rather be doing that than anything else, I thought it was an evening well spent--a little bit of song, a little bit of laughter. Problem comes when there are people in the world that do not love laughing as much as I do. Is is possible? Can it be? Yes, there are serious people in the world, and God bless them, that don't make it their goal in life to laugh out loud at least 5 times a day. Try it sometime, I bet life turns out looking a little bit more like roses.