" Gilmore Girls"

Have you ever really liked something, but could not explain why? This is what Gilmore Girls is to me. It is in no way uplifting, I do not share their values, and although I have heard the arguement that the mother and daughter relationship is something to be envied, I don't see it. And yet, I am addicted. Not only to the Tuesday night on the WB, but also the reruns daily on ABC Family (I don't know what time they come on, that is the beauty of Tivo). So the premise:

The Youngest: Rouri. You get to see what a "normal" teenager life is like. Except, there is nothing normal about this kid. She is astoundingly smart and mature (especially considering her lack of role models). In High School she is accepted into this prestigious prep school, which is good because her life-long dream is to go to Harvard (as it turns out, she goes to Yale, drops out after being arrested for stealing a boat, but goes back to Yale when dumped by the boy she stole the boat with). The thing is, for a smart and mature girl, she makes some very stupid decisions. She has read every book in the planet, and knows many more words than I ever will, but she is ruled by her emotions. (BALANCE people).

The Mother: Laurelai. She got pregnant at 16 and gave birth to Rouri. The problem, she is determined to be the opposite of her mother and be her kid's best friend. Unfortunately, this means that her maturity got frozen at 16, at least until her daughter caught up with her. She manages to screw up many, many relationships, because she is pining for the high school sweet heart that knocked her up. This woman moved to a small town to escape her own mother and eventually became the owner of an inn. (How she could qualify for a business loan when only one season before she could not qualify for a second mortgage is beyond my comprehension)

The Grandmother: Emily. Rich to a tee. Manipulative to no end. Sometimes you think that she may be the normal one and then she pulls some mess and you realize, no, she is her own set of crazy. She is so particular, that she cannot even keep a maid for more than a week or two at a time. She is so out of touch with what real life is about, she is wrapped up in DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution) meetings and charity functions. Her great disappointment in life and the thorn in her side, her daughter Laurelai. Her consolation prize, her granddaughter Rouri, who she is determined will be the one to follow in her foot steps.

As I said, I am addicted. I have never seen such unhealthy relationships (with the people in those relationships so oblivious to the dysfunction) and heard so many comments to the contrary. Case in point: Today's episode ends with Rouri coming to her mother to tell her that she is thinking about "IT". That she is thinking about having sex with a boy that she has been dating for 2 months (having just recently breaking up with a boy that she dated and remained chaste with for 2 years). This boy is the definition of bad news. He was sent to live with his Uncle because his wild behavior in New York was getting him into big trouble. I have heard it said, "Isn't that great that she is comfortable coming to her mother and her mother does not judge her." Now if I had a daughter, or I had this conversation with my mother it would have gone something like this: Daughter, "I'm thinking about having sex with this boy." Mother, "Over my dead body, you are never seeing him again." Or at the very least, "You will have a chaperone at all times if you wish to continue seeing this boy." But in the world of Gilmore Girls, the mother is so scared of ruining the relationship with her daughter that she says nothing at all. Not even a "Think about this first." or "I believe you are making a big mistake." or even, "Your virginity is a precious gift that you can only give once, don't give it away too soon."

I see too many parents in real life that want to be buddies with their kids for me to be fooled into thinking that it works. I have had parents say, "What can I say, she/he knows that I did it." SO WHAT??????? As adults do we not now have greater wisdom than when we were 16 years old? And if we as teenagers did not have adults with wisdom to guide us, is it fair to refrain now from guiding future generations?

Here's what I think;
1. There is a fine line between parenting and friendship. And sometimes they are the same thing, but if it is ever a choice between the two, the parent side should win.

2. NO is not a four letter word. It can be said without being abusive or hateful. It can actually make a positive difference in someone's live. It is not "the saddest experience you will ever know."

3. Values are meant to be passed down. What I feel to be right and wrong, regardless if I did it or not, is valid to teach.

4. Relationship is key. Unless you have a knowledge of the person and a relationship of love established first, the discipline will really be difficult to handle.