Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Am I really just like everyone else?

I feel the need to ask this because I have always thought of myself as a truly unique person, an individual. No, I am not. And this has happened many times in my life, but more so in the recent days. I tell about something going on in my life--and someone has a story to at least match mine and usually will top my story. These days I hear a lot of "me too." I hate "me toos." It's like saying your current pain doesn't matter because I have also gone through or am going through this. My brain knows that this is not what they mean by "me too," but sometimes my brain short circuits. Is that really surprising? In times of high emotional crises, my brain goes a little haywire and instead of acting on thoughts from my brain, I act on feelings from my heart.

I am a listener. My career, my chosen profession is based on being a listener (you know, mental health therapist and all). So I sometimes have trouble cutting people off in the middle of their "me too" stories. I know (in my brain) that they are trying to reach out, to have a shared experience. After all that is a huge thing in life and something so powerful--a shared experience. Even if we weren't there at that exact moment, our brains still search for a similar example, something that helps us to wrap our thoughts around it and to understand better where that person is coming from. But I feel (in my heart) so frustrated and hurt that they just didn't let me talk. A "me too" has happened.

I am going through a divorce. And there are way too many "me toos" out there when it comes to this story. My husband doesn't love--really "me too." I never saw it coming--really "me too." My life is a cliche these days. I feel like it has boiled down to a simple "me too" story. The sad thing, I still love my husband very much. I still want to do what it takes to work it out, and I haven't gotten many "me toos" on this one.

2 comments:

Kat Coble said...

I am sorry for all the 'me too's I've ladled on you over the last few months.

I still want to do what it takes to work it out, and I haven't gotten many "me toos" on this one.

I am so in your corner on this one.

In times of high emotional crises, my brain goes a little haywire and instead of acting on thoughts from my brain, I act on feelings from my heart.

This can be a good thing. Especially for smart people who are used to thinking their way out of the box.

Hang in there.

Jill said...

No. Your "Me toos" have not bothered me. I wouldn't keep calling you if they did. But at work I have come across the "bitter ex-wifes club." And their Me toos are annoying and smug. Those are the me toos that really get me down.

I don't ever want to join the bitter ex-wifes club.