Mutual Suffering

I have friends. Lots and lots of friends. Not going through the best time of my life, and my friends are there for me. They call me, they check on me. They buy me cards and write encouraging messages that sometimes makes me cry. They take me out and keep me annoyingly busy for the homebody that I am. They are wonderful, wonderful friends. They will listen and sympathize on my bad days when it seems the tears just won't stop. They laugh with me on the good days--but don't assume that "finally she's done." They happily volunteer to do bodily harm to the person who is the source of all this pain. They are there.

But there is something to be said for mutual suffering. Misery doesn't just love company, it needs company. I had dinner tonight with a mutual sufferer. Her story is just like mine (I know that I complained about this in a previous blog, but this is a different day). Tonight I was able to talk to someone and know that they understood me because they are right there with me. It is not that I want only miserable people around me, but aometimes, I feel guilty being around happy people. I hate feeling that I am sometimes dragging them down into my depths. And I don't want to be that person. I don't need miserable company 24/7. That would be horrible, but to be around those that also suffer and share in their pain is a connection that, may I say it, is sacred.

Beware, I am about to get preachy here. Through this time I have been reading a lot in the book of Psalms. Just last night I read "My heart is sick, withered like grass, and I have lost my appetite." YES, that is me. Or how about this one from 2 nights ago "I cried out, 'I'm slipping!' and your unfailing love, O Lord, supports me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer." David's words and the psalms that he wrote appeal to me as well. I have held onto misery and have needed its company through this: "As for this friend of mine, he betrayed me; he broke his promises. His words are as smooth as cream, but in his heart is war. His words are as soothing as lotion but underneath are daggers!" It is hard when your best friend has turned against you and all he has to offer is self-pitying.