Pumpkin Carving

We have an emerging family tradition. The Sunday before Halloween, all the cousins and their kids along with my parents gather at my aunt's house (well, everyone that lives in the area). We eat lunch all together and then carve out our pumkins.

This, of course, got me thinking about family traditions. As I may have blogged before, my husband and I are trying to get some kids. We are participating in a foster to adopt program. Even though we do not have kids yet, the questions have begun to arise--what are we going to do with these kids? It's not the discipline stuff we worry about. Nor is it the scheduling stuff that I think will be an issue. It comes down to how are we going to pass our values down to our kids?

Pumpkin carving was a fun thing and a great tradition to start, but there were so many things that because I am a part of this family, I know that it is coming. There is a tradition of who is in the kitchen vs. who is watching football vs. who plays with the little kids and keeps them occupied vs. the teenage cousin acting cool and aloof. Then there is the sitting down at the dinner table where two prayers are said. That's right, two prayers. Two little boys both have to say a prayer. One is so proud to say "God is great, God is good..." while the other goes through a wonderfully long list of "Thank you God for..." When we get kids will a third or forth prayer be added or will my aunt be less indulgent (not because she is not accepting, but because these boys are her grandkids)?

Having received a degree in Marriage and Family therapy, I usually love to watch traditions meld and form. I love to observe others as they process through this change, the critical times usually being right after marriage and after the birth of the first child. Now I am on the cusp to this transition time and no longer the objective observer. It's a little overwhelming to think about.

What are some of your favorite family traditions?

Shocking??????

I was sent this article by a fellow school therapist. School of Shock It details about this center in New York that uses aversive shock treatments to teach. The principles are sound. I personally think a lot of what Skinner and Behaviorism says is valid--coming down to: 1. If we do something and it hurts us, we will stop. 2. If we do something and it brings us pleasure, we will do it again. I agree with using this in the most extreme cases, like the two children that were mentioned--Matthew was apparently bashing his head into the corner of tables and Sarah hit herself in the head so hard that she detached her own retinas. Here's the thing, Skinner himself saw through his experiments that positive reinforcement was more effective than punishment (aversive stimulus).

As I read through this article, my initial reaction was repulsion. Then I began to see the necessity of some of the shocks. Then repulsion began to creep back in as I read more of the non-life threatening behaviors that this was used to stop. I'm not talking about the precursors to an attack, but rather behaviors that are keeping the student from learning. Not to mention that the people delivering the shocks are techs with a high school degree and only two weeks of training. Is this enough?

I know this blog is not my usual funny anecdote.

Hornets

That's right, HORNETS. I got a wild hair to clean out our garden shed. So I start cleaning. I get things sufficiently moved around to make exit from the shed difficult when I move a piece of lumber and hear it... BZZZZZZZZZZZ. There is a hornet nest and they are mad. Their tails are up and they are about to swarm. I take off running, and climbing, and running some more. I call my husband and he was my hero--he went to Wally World for Hornet and Wasp Spray. He bought one can. "That should be enough," he says to himself. Ha Ha Ha.

So armed with my can of spray and a path cleared I go in spraying, and they drop. So I continue happily cleaning. Every so often I would see a straggler. I would spray it, and it would drop. I would spray it, and it would drop. I was coming to the end of my handy-dandy can when I happen to hit two hornets on the selves in the back of the shed and some overspray goes behind them. And I hear it again... BZZZZZZZZZZZ. Even louder than the first. And they do start to swarm. I pull out my spray and I am ready. I start spraying. I am confident in my hornet killing capabilities--after all I have already taken out one nest. Then the unthinkable happens--the spray runs out. They are still swarming, luckily they are slow because of the cooler wedding, but still swarming. I start running again. Oh yeah, and yelling "oh shit, oh shit, oh shit....."

When I go back to the shed there are about 200 dead and dying hornets on the floor. We invested in another can of Hornet and Wasp Spray. Amazingly enough, I did not get stung a single time.

Moses

My cat is very funny today. Moses is an indoor cat. He has always been an indoor cat. He has been out a few times, but usually is back into the house within the hour. Last Halloween was a time he got out. We had the front door open, and periodically would see this black and white thing jump in front of the screen door. By the time we got there, so would the next batch of trick-o-treaters and Moses would have run away. We finally found Moses at the end of the night huddled by the back door.

I would like to say that Moses was cured of the periodic desire to go outside. I can't. Just last month, during a rainy night, Moses snuck out. We did not realize that he had gotten out, until we came home from dinner. Moses was waiting for us by the porch and was soaking wet. Ever since, Moses has been wary of the outside. Who can blame him, he is getting on up there in age. But every so often, I can see the younger cat who longs to be the hunter.

Because the weather is nice, I have opened all the windows in the house today. Moses has spent his time at each window, running back and forth, to cover all equally. I think that he wants to make the rounds and just to be sure that there is nothing going on outside that he may be missing. Moses will sit in each window sil, leaning up against the screen, practically pushing it out of the frame. The friskiness is further seen today in Moses' willingness to pick fights with the dog. Usually Moses is too good to even acknowledge the dog's presence. Today, Moses is seeking out the dog. This is going to be a fun day. Having pets is great.