Not Just Hammer, But the Other Tools from the Toolshed Too!

Okay, so it is more that just hammers that wish to stalk me. I am being followed by other tools too. Just last night on my way home from choir a ladder jumped off the truck two cars ahead of me and into the road. I definately did not imagine this one. The poor car in front of me plowed right into the ladder. It was the strange noise of tires clanking over ladder that clued me in, allowing me a chance to swerve out of the way just in time.

Of course this got me thinking. Yes, I do tend to let my mind drift from time to time about things that amust me. This time I started thinking about all the interesting things that I have spotted on the side of the road. There have been couches, and chairs, and tables... Let's just say there is a furniture category. There is definately a tool category--not only the recent spottings of hammers and a ladder, but I have seen various screwdrivers, shovels, and even a power drill once. The gross category has to be included in the list--dead animals. The most interesting (or most gross, however you want to look at it) would be the deer that was off the road just enough that you could observe the process of the buzzards picking that thing clean in a matter of 2 or 3 days. The category that always gets me worried--the live animals wondering by the side of the road. I have had to resist the urge to take more than one or two stray dogs home. Then there is the plant category--you may be shocked to hear this, but I absolutely love the wildflowers that grow on the side of the road. This would be the absolute best roadside decoration. Somewhat disappointing is the fact that I have not seen the red poppies on the by-pass this year. Where are they?

Athletic? Nah!

But I am definately becoming one of those people. I actually went online this week looking for a race that I could do. Something that could motivate me to keep up with the jogging, keep improving my time, and most importantly, to keep me in shape. I don't like the training part. I am not one of those crazy people who likes to jog all the time. I don't miss it when I skip it. But I do like the races. Does that make me an exhibitionist (only liking to do it when others are watching)? Hmmmm. I guess I will have to think about that one. So I am glancing through some possibilities for races and realized that I still haven't done a 5K. The shortest that I have done is a 10K. I started big--my first being a 1/2 marathon. Does that mean I was looking for a 5K--no, I ended up signing up for a 15K. And how is this for motivation--I have to complete the 9.3 in less than two hours--that's at least 5 miles per hour, meaning, no walking for me. This is a big step for me. I will really be pushing myself to train for this one. Now for the part that really cracks me up. Without making any confessions, they have a category to enter that is up my alley. The Athena Category--it ain't for the skinny chicks with 0% body fat that is for sure...

Payroll, That's What Killed Me

If I turn up mysteriously dead in the next 24 to 48 hours, please know that it is payroll that did it. Have it arrested, thrown in jail, but be warned it is a tricky, tricky, sneaky little booger. When you think you have it figured out, when you are convinced that you have all the bugs worked out of the system, when you know in your heart of hearts that certain procedures performed in specific order give the desired result... it will throw you for a loop. This week it decided that the categories on the checks instead of reading "regular, overtime, doubletime, and vacation" decided instead that "NOT ON FILE" for each of those would be more appropriate. Yes the number of hours are correct. The amounts in those categories are impecable. We just don't know the name of the category. It is a small miracle that the hours did go into the correct amount for taxes and I was able to pull up the correct report quickly to reassure my boss that they were correct. He was toying with the idea of voiding all the checks and reissuing them (NO, NO, NO, pleeeeaaaassssse, NO). Whew!!!! That crisis is averted, but now I have to figure out how to solve this problem before Monday when checks are run again. This is not even talking about the fact that we now have new payroll checks that have come in and that the columns and categories is have to be re-set again to fit these checks. Quitting is not an option as I kinda need this job. What do you think is the likelihood that the other employees will work for free? I will have to send a memo down to the shop, but I am sure that they will be happy to accomodate, right???? Maybe not.