I Waged War with Fur

My big plan this last weekend was to work in the yard. I love playing in the dirt. This time of year is always fascinates me, the buds on the trees, my roses starting to show growth. Even my peony bush is starting to sprout. The problem was Saturday was not good "get out in the yard" weather. By the time I realized it, I was already in my work clothes. So, what do I do???, I tackle the attic. Yes, that's right the place that I go only twice a year, maybe. Old text books, Christmas decorations, and camping supplies were not so neatly arranged. Now, they are beautifully arranged. Not to mention, nicely boxed up and ready for pick up are some of the ex's old books. (maybe I can get my dad to help me bring them down, so that ex doesn't have to come into the house.

Well, when I was finished in the attic, I still had energy left, so I takled the front bedroom. I had a lot of stuff just dumped in here when I closed my private practice. You can now walk in. Then it just turned into a major spring cleaning project... I am happy to report that underneath my bed (as of Saturday) was completely de-furred, and under the treadmill, and under the chest of drawers, and under the piano, you get the idea. I think that there is a fur magnet under these things. I have never seen so much fur in my life that wasn't attached to my dog. As a matter of fact I don't know that I have even seen that much fur attached to my dog. This is a disaster. I have always considered myself a bit of a neat freak and the fur was taking over.

Oh, the Lies they Tell

Sales people crack me up. I have to say. I work for a small company and there are a lot of calls for the President/Owner of the company. This President is a Junior, so he does not go by his first name. But so often I get calls for Orville. I know that these are cold calls, because he would have told them the appropriate name to call him if they have ever dealt with him before. Policy is to put them on hold (and leave them there) or wait 1/2 minute, tell them he is unavailable and then offer to take a message (not that they have ever left a message). These sales people are slick though. I have had people tell me that they are just returning Orville's call. I have had people pretend that they are trying to bring us customers (but would refuse to talk to the guy that actually deals with and gives quotes to customers). And just today I answer the phone and chicky goes. "Oh, I am soooooooo sorry, I meant to call Orville at his home number. Well, since I called, is he available." AS IF PRETENDING YOU HAVE HIS HOME NUMBER WILL WORK. Trust me, if she knew his home number she would know his name. Seriously, does this work with some people?

Shushed

I was shushed last night in choir. Grant it, I was laughing--a lot, and I was laughing loudly, but shushed? Really, are we really still in elementary school/middle school mode? Okay so I am not a rule follower when it comes to choir. I like to talk and socialize, sometimes it being the only time during the week that I can see certain people.

The reason I was laughing. 1. We are singing a song where the melody is straight from Jurassic Park (or did Jurassic Park steal the melody from this anthem--chicken or egg?). Seriously, the men are singing and flower goddess asks me what is this from, its a movie. So we are sitting there happily humming and trying to figure it out (even now, I have started humming the theme merrily to myself--please no co-workers walk in). Jurassic Park. I have to watch those movies again. They have action, adventure, pretty scenery, dinosaurs, sci-fi, all good stuff (this is one instance where I actually like the movie better than the books). Okay back to why we were laughing. 2. Hymns. Not normally funny, but we always run hymn at the beginning of rehearsal. Not a big fan of this. And they just drag on forever (so it seems). FG (flower goddess) drew a lovely picture of herself during this time, stabbing herself in the boob (well, just stabbing herself, but it looked like it was aimed for the boob--that was the funny part). 3. From Brahams Requim--"How Lovely is thy Dwelling Place". I thought how fun it would be to change out "Lovely" with "Super". 4. ... Oh, there are so many things that we found funny that I would just have to say the dreaded phrase "you would just have to be there." So, I'm not going to tell you.

So, lets just say, I was laughing all throughout choir practice. Since, I love to laugh and would rather be doing that than anything else, I thought it was an evening well spent--a little bit of song, a little bit of laughter. Problem comes when there are people in the world that do not love laughing as much as I do. Is is possible? Can it be? Yes, there are serious people in the world, and God bless them, that don't make it their goal in life to laugh out loud at least 5 times a day. Try it sometime, I bet life turns out looking a little bit more like roses.

A Dirty Mind is a Terrible Thing to Waste

Okay, I know that I have a tendency for my mind to slip into the gutter--daily. Though I am not a fan of crude humor, there are things in life that strike me as hilarious. And bodily functions are funny. Sadly enough you should hear some of the things I say, and laugh at, while doing flower arrangements for church. There are conversations about sticking it places and trying to get it to stay up. Everything sounds dirty by the time I am finished with the arrangement, esp. when working with flower goddess.

That being said, who names their company "Self Lube." Seriously, my boss just got a call from Self Lube to talk about her lubricating needs. Yes, there is a company that expects its employees to make sales calls and say "this is 'so and so' from self lube." And I work with mainly men--I can only imagine that their minds are slightly dirtier than mine. Poor Jody, I don't know if I can keep from laughing when she calls back. Thank goodness there was no message.

1/2 Marathon, I think I must be Crazy

Yes, I have been training myself for the 1/2 marathon. There are very few people that I told, you know just in case. And I purposefully didn't sign up for the marathon because one of two things might have happened. 1. I would have been physically incapable of completing 13 miles with my arthritic knee and in that case would have spent the entry fee in vain, or 2. The Marathon would have already been full and I would have lost motivation. So I decided to wait until I hit 11 miles. I figured that this would be close enough that I could fake the last two miles. Not necessary. Last night was a personal triumph for me. I not only got to 11 miles, but when I got there, I just kept going. Now grant it, my last 1.5 miles was slow, and difficult, but I did the full 13.1 miles, mostly walking (with some jogging--not too much, remember the knee).

What an amazing feeling to sign up for the 1/2 marathon. That's a very good thing.

Nothing New Under the Sun

I'm feeling very introspective today(Warning... I feel a random thought blog coming on with tangents and off shoots galore!!!). Not entirely sure why. It could do with the holiday, it could do with baby sitting at the group home I work at on weekends, it could be feeling very high-schoolish again and having a crush on a boy, it could be the friend facing a loss. Whatever the cause, I am contemplating Ecclesiates. No, I don't normally contemplate random books of the Bible (I am currently reading in the New Testament and usually focus on what I am reading). A friend was talking to me about happiness. You know that fleeting elusive feeling of well being. It is odd, because I was also just reading a Reader's Digest article about how to increase your happiness. (That is a blog in and of itself--suffice it to say that my mom sends me the Reader's Digest every year, I love the jokes, and yes that article was like from two months ago, what can I say, I'm behind). So, I am contemplating my life and the unexpected turns that I have taken and I realize that my story is not new. It is no where near new. There is nothing new under the sun. Now before you start feeling sorry for me that I am not a unique individual (all to American obsession), this was a comfort. I am not in uncharted waters. Maybe for me, but not for the world (and dare I say, not for God). So, the question came up... Am I happy? Yes, I am. Am I happier now? Yes, I am. I am a different person now than I was then. I wish great things for those around me and hope to bring out the best in others. I make it my goal in life to laugh many, many times everyday. And I am happy to report that I am succeeding (even if it is just to laugh at myself--even at the end of a horrible, horrible day I can pick up a trusty Shel Silverstein book of poems and laugh my butt off). Wouldn't that be great if we could truly laugh our butts away.

Note to self... Things to avoid: gossips, judgy people, negative, cynical, too busy for life, flakes.
Things to seek: laughter, friendship, affirmations, the kiss of my dogs, good chocolate, deep and meaningful conversations, eating icecream from the carton (Mayfield Snowcream), the hug from family, those that bring healing.

So, if there is nothing new. I would love to learn from the mistakes of the past and get on to the better things that are out there. Is that possible? Can I pay attention and learn how to replicate the good others have accomplished and avoid the bad that some have stumbled upon?

The Bike Rack

I have had all manner of trouble with taking my bike places. It started with buying a new car. This car is much smaller than my van (well, obviously, its a car and not a van). I was asked by some friends if I wanted to join them at a park in Lebannon to ride bikes. Sure, I say. Sounds fantastic--this was that really pretty Sunday a few weeks back. So I went home planning on throwing my bike in the back of my car. After all it is a hatchback and the back seats fold down-- I can do that, right? The back of my van fit three bikes surely I could squeeze one it the back of my Versa, right? No. Absolutely not happening. As a matter of fact I got more of a workout trying to get that bike in the back of my car without scratching anything than I thought possible. So I took one of my dogs instead. I had a nice walk while other rode. Dodger was happy, he made lots of friends.

So, I made a decision, I needed a bike rack. Nothing too expensive, just one of those that strap onto the trunk (or in my case the hatchback) of a car. Went to Target and got a bike rack. It was the next day that I realized that they charges me twice for one rack. So instead of being at $40 bike rack it was an $80 bike rack. So, I went back to Target. Armed only with my receipt and the knowledge that one person in their right mind for never buy two bike racks like this (it wouldn't fit on the back of any car). The lady was sympathetic but completly not clicking with me. She looked at me and looked at the receipt and looked back at me and said, what is a bike rack. So I am explaining, typical me fashion, with my hands. I am trying to convey the size and how it straps to the trunk and how the bikes go on the rack. Etc. etc. etc. Finally, it dawns. So you really don't need two? No, I don't. So, you didn't buy two? No, I didn't. I'll just credit back your card. Thank you very much.

Next issue... I go to strap it on my car. And it is saying that ideally, the bottom straps should be attached to something metal underneath the bottom of the bumper. There is not metal underneath the bottom of the bumper. IT IS ALL PLASTIC. So, I am in my garage (Thank you Lord for a garage and that I wasn't just in the driveway for all the neighborhood to see). I am in my garage, on the floor, still wearing my work clothes, crawling underneath my car looking for anything metal. My dogs are out there with me and think this must be a new, super fun game--the step on mommy's stomach game. Finally I just strap it to the bottom of the hatchback itself and it works nicely.

I am happy to report that I made it to work this morning without the bike flying off the back.

He's trying to fatten me up.

I go frequently to a Mexican restaurant in town with my parents. When I say frequently, I mean at least once a week. The food is always good, the salsa is terrific, and it is always a boost to my self-esteem. There are a couple of the waiters that will come and talk to me, and smile at me, and offer to bring me margaritas or tequila. But becuase I am on a diet, I haven't been in about a month through. Apparently, my favorite waiter has been asking my parents about me. Is the seniorita coming today??? So, last night I was taking a night off from the diet (I still went home and walked 5 miles). And I went to Dos Margaritas. It was good. But, I was careful, I only ate a couple of chips and ordered the veggie/chicken dish. My waiter had other idea because the plate came piled up with more food than I thought was possible. It was an enormous amount of chicken. So I ate half--less than half and I was full. When I asked for a box, he looked so disappointed. It was at this point I became very suspicious because he started suggesting dessert. Can I bring you some flan, sopapillas, chocolate chimichanga? My mom perked up with the chocolate chimichanga and that was promptly brought to the table with three spoons-- it was set directly in front of me. If this wasn't enough to confirm that he does not approve of the diet. He didn't even charge for the dessert, saying it was just for me.

My First Matches

Okay, I have stated the eHarmony thing. So far, not panning out the way that I thought it would. The first guy I made it to open communication with seemed ideal. We had emailed over open communication for a while and were doing well. He had a witty sense of humor and dedicated to helping children. He wanted a family of his own. And I know that this is not important, but he was cute too (I could tell from his pictures). The problem came when we started discussing leaving the eHarmony format. We exchanged email addresses and phone numbers. Here is the tricky part--my email address has my last name. It was then that I got an email. Still funny throughout almost ignoring the obvious, until... then the last sentence... Oh, by the way, is your ex-husband _____? HOLY SHIT!!!!! That is right he works with my ex. He didn't say that they were friends, only that he was friends with my ex's friends. Strange way to put it, I thought. So I closed that match. Relationships are complicated enough.

Next guy that I made it to the open communication level with. Sweet guy. Gentle soul. Scared of his own shadow. Now keep in mind that this is our first meeting. We kept it casual. We met for ice cream. It was time limited, I think total we sat and talked for a little over an hour. Not much in the big sceme of things. But in this time, there were some definate problems. First question he asked, Do you mind snakes? Snakes?!?!? What is running through my head is that he has a 10 foot boa constrictor in his house that will eat my dogs. No, it's a little better but not much. He has a snake phobia. So much so that he will not even go into that section of the zoo. He will not watch a movie that has snakes in it. Fear of snakes. I don't like snakes, but they don't freak me out (unless I am stuck in an innertube in the middle of the Little Pigeon River). But this seemed excessive. Second question, How big are your dogs? He really doesn't like dogs, he is especially afraid of big dogs. I just wanted to say, they may not be big, but, honey, Miriam will eat you for breakfast. Third question, Do you have a roomate? No, I say, I live alone. Aren't you scared? No, I say, I seem to get along just fine. Apparently he has always lived with a roomate and not because financial reasons, but because he doesn't want to live alone. (Side note, I am loving living by myself, life is simple, life is good, where I put something is where it stays, I have absolute say on what I watch on TV, and I can stained glass anytime that I want). Forth and final red flag question, How do you feel about traditional gender roles? I say something to the effect that it is important for the couple to work those roles out on their own, forming a compromise that works best for them. He thinks that is terrific, because in relationships he sees himself as "more of the girl." Yes, that is a direct quote. I emailed him the next day to say something along the lines that I am extremely independent and love the outdoors and adventure, that I thought that there is someone with a gentle spirit out there for him and the best thing I can do to help him find her is to close the match.

There are some strange cookies out there.

A Blog of Blogging

I realized today that it has been quite a long time since I have blogged last. It is not that I don't enjoy blogging. I do, but there is a sense of paranoia that follows me as I blog. This is hardly an anonymous place to post as most friends and family are aware of the site. The questions always come up about who is reading me. This is not a normal feeling for me. I am not normally paranoid about the people who look over my shoulder. I like the feeling that my friends are checking up on me. It doesn't even bother me that someone could be reading my posts that has never met me. Nothing wrong with that. If you are interested in some day to day thoughts of a slightly strange person, I have no problem with that. My concern... That has more to do with those that know me that we don't keep in contact anymore. Oh, what a stupid, round-a-bout way of saying, I don't like the idea that my ex-husband could wonder back to this site to check up. Paranoid. Yes. Truthfully, I doubt that he would care about what I put in here. Strangely enough, I find myself wanting to be sensitive to the just in case. I have had many interesting stories happen to me lately, that I haven't shared "just in case." So, I guess this post is to simply qwell my paranoia and act as a warning. Dating stories to come.